Can we talk for a moment about how black men contribute to the degradation of black womanhood? Just online alone, there is a whole genre of artwork/ comics/ youtube videos made by black men who enjoy ?/ want to make a mockery of black women.
I’ve seen them blaming black women for choosing “niggas” and not “good black men”, I’ve seen black women are too strong and independent, black women are too ugly (i.e. dark skinned & natural/ not natural enough and therefore fake, too sexually loose or too prudish
and it’s like what are these black men tryna do? It’s almost like they’re 7 year olds with crushes who yell “she got cooties!” instead of knowing how to be respectful
but unlike elementary school this is the real world where there are real ramifications for how patriarchal white supremacy has effected black women & how those negative effects are only exacerbated when black men internalize the negative projections placed unto black women and perpetuate em.
men aren’t taught to respect women period. and people are not taught how to respect blackness. black people ain’t taught how to respect blackness, since that is how you preserve white supremacy. so combine that and you get ‘here is everything wrong with the black woman’ every second.
and it’s like black men wanna pretend this ain’t happening and then wonder why folks say things like ‘black love does exist’ or ‘black love still exists’ when they see an example of black man & woman actually making it work.
black men have to make an active effort to NOT adhere to patriarchal white supremacy (the system that constantly devalues black womanhood) & that starts with being aware that this stuff is even happening in the 1st place.
THIS. While lurking on one of my favorite forums for black folks a thread had been started about “Indenpendent Women” not being wifey material. A sister did a vid about this and others shared there thoughts.
I pretty much shared the same sentiments as the OP. Coupled with men, black men especially are not questioned once for being too independent or their role in the condition or the always media suggested break down of black relationships. It’s always black women being too mean, smart, or having unrealistic standards, and alone because of it if we believe the lies of the world media.
When you really think about it, the idea that the woman has a standard that does not agree with majority. If a brother get’s rejected because he does not meet her standards. If black woman is just happy being single or with a casual relationship she is a problem….But why?
Is it because she is not adhering to the all white american dream? No. There are several sitcoms in which white women decide to have as much sex with whom ever they want or choose to be alone and persue their dreams and it’s as much as a non issue as Cosmopolitan will make it to be.